Male Female Relations and US society

30 11 2007

While I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop the owner stopped by to ask a question. Why is it that all your clients seem to be young females?

Firstly, the first statement is patently untrue. The only reason he only sees the young female clients is that as a single guy it is always better to have coaching sessions with females in an open place. As I gave this answer to the individual in question he looked at me askance and I could see several thoughts going through his mind all at once. Frankly, I am grieved that we live in a society that has so trivialized relationships between men and women. I see this as a function of US society making any contact between men and women to be sexual. Honest caring has been replaced by sociopathic “little head” thinking.

This thought pattern goes with the patrilineal structure that we struggle against as humans living in an inhuman world. Where is it written that a male who cares, is sensitive and truly listens is a non-entity.

As a person who honors the sacred feminine, (yes I am pagan) I am constantly speaking out about the polarization (male/female) of our society. Gender is NOT the issue. If I was a female sitting with “young” females no one would even look at us twice. Yet, as a male I am suspect. How sad.

Each individual needs to find the balance of the male and female in themselves. I don’t care what you philosophical or religious paradigm is, if you believe there is a creator(ix) then there is a male and female part of the divine that we strive to integrate.

There are two genders, both created equally, so if the creator(ix) is both male and female, then it behoves us to find the balance within ourselves. Man can not survive without woman.

Less you are thinking that I am advocating a matrilineal society; the only society that truly reflects the divine, is one of equal partnership. Neither gender is subsumed by the other. In my research into “ancient” pre-Christian society I see that in many cultures men and women were equal partners. As I trace the changes in societies I find that it is only after the advent of Roman society that we have the polarization of gender roles.

A case in point, in Celtic tribes before the Roman Invasions, both men and women could be tribal leaders, healers, and priests. Only after the Pax Romanus did these roles become exclusively male. In fact, the struggles of the un conquered tribes was partially over the imposition of Roman Law in tribal lands.

In Native American tribes the medicine clans have always had both male and female members. Even trangendered individuals are accepted within the clan. In the time since the subjugation of many of these tribes we now see the polarization of the societies. True, many tribes had specific roles that were traditionally done by particular gender, yet if an individual wished to cross over to a non-traditional role it was allowed.

Our 21 century modern world is still struggling with the same questions. Women are still not respected in the marketplace, they are treated as commodities to be traded. Rest assured that the trading is more subtle, but it is still there. Try being a woman in a bar one night.