Male Female Relations and US society

30 11 2007

While I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop the owner stopped by to ask a question. Why is it that all your clients seem to be young females?

Firstly, the first statement is patently untrue. The only reason he only sees the young female clients is that as a single guy it is always better to have coaching sessions with females in an open place. As I gave this answer to the individual in question he looked at me askance and I could see several thoughts going through his mind all at once. Frankly, I am grieved that we live in a society that has so trivialized relationships between men and women. I see this as a function of US society making any contact between men and women to be sexual. Honest caring has been replaced by sociopathic “little head” thinking.

This thought pattern goes with the patrilineal structure that we struggle against as humans living in an inhuman world. Where is it written that a male who cares, is sensitive and truly listens is a non-entity.

As a person who honors the sacred feminine, (yes I am pagan) I am constantly speaking out about the polarization (male/female) of our society. Gender is NOT the issue. If I was a female sitting with “young” females no one would even look at us twice. Yet, as a male I am suspect. How sad.

Each individual needs to find the balance of the male and female in themselves. I don’t care what you philosophical or religious paradigm is, if you believe there is a creator(ix) then there is a male and female part of the divine that we strive to integrate.

There are two genders, both created equally, so if the creator(ix) is both male and female, then it behoves us to find the balance within ourselves. Man can not survive without woman.

Less you are thinking that I am advocating a matrilineal society; the only society that truly reflects the divine, is one of equal partnership. Neither gender is subsumed by the other. In my research into “ancient” pre-Christian society I see that in many cultures men and women were equal partners. As I trace the changes in societies I find that it is only after the advent of Roman society that we have the polarization of gender roles.

A case in point, in Celtic tribes before the Roman Invasions, both men and women could be tribal leaders, healers, and priests. Only after the Pax Romanus did these roles become exclusively male. In fact, the struggles of the un conquered tribes was partially over the imposition of Roman Law in tribal lands.

In Native American tribes the medicine clans have always had both male and female members. Even trangendered individuals are accepted within the clan. In the time since the subjugation of many of these tribes we now see the polarization of the societies. True, many tribes had specific roles that were traditionally done by particular gender, yet if an individual wished to cross over to a non-traditional role it was allowed.

Our 21 century modern world is still struggling with the same questions. Women are still not respected in the marketplace, they are treated as commodities to be traded. Rest assured that the trading is more subtle, but it is still there. Try being a woman in a bar one night.

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5 responses

8 01 2008
music

very interesting.
i’m adding in RSS Reader

3 02 2008
soniya

im soniya.i have a request.please help me in my research for thesis.my research title is “male-female relation in western counteries”
i m looking forward for your assistance on introducing article and site related on this topic.
faithfully yours.
soniya

31 05 2008
Michelle

From the other side of that coin…

I find it sad that male associates, acquaintances, and any male with whom I come into contact seem to feel that they must make it over-abundantly clear that they have no ulterior motives, that they aren’t going to treat me like an object, that they aren’t going to sexually harass me, and that they aren’t womanizers. A co-worker might accidentally bump into me, and immediately, he feels that he needs to apologize because he might have offended me. An associate needs to assist me with a piece of worn equipment, and feels that he must make it clear before he touches the equipment that he’s not intending to harass me. It’s sad. It’s not fair to him, and it immediately makes the assumption that I’m LOOKING for excuses to cry foul.

This creates a harsh social dichotomy where none should exist. In addition, not only does the man feel that he needs to walk on eggshells to avoid being accused of sexual misconduct, but the woman also finds herself in an unnecessarily awkward situation. In my case, I have to explain to the male in question that NO, I’m not assuming a sexual context. NO, I’m not going to imagine that an issue exists where there is none. No, I’m not going to assume that every single man who wishes to speak to me is looking for a sexual encounter. In contrast, other women are often made to feel that they MUST be vigilant about their interactions with all men because any one of them could be after something inappropriate, and therefore they create a hostility by treating all men as suspects.

This artificial divide that our society creates causes so many opportunities to be missed, so many ideas to go unshared, so many experiences to be lost. I had a male significant other at one point who couldn’t understand why I had to have male friends. The simple answer that they were my friends, and that I valued their companionship, was not enough. That young man assumed that there must be a sexual context to my inter-gender friendships. I ended that relationship very quickly.

I have male friends that I hug and kiss on the cheek, and I enjoy being in close physical but non-sexual proximity with them because their energy is positive and that is something to appreciate in a person. Even before establishing myself in a committed relationship with a woman, I had platonic male friends with whom I shared such close relationships. Completely platonic, non-sexual. Still, people wondered. And now, when I have close female friends with whom I share similar interactions, some people assume that I have inappropriate purposes there, too.

We live in a world fixated on sex and gender differences, instead of pure human interaction. We make things taboo, and naturally people become obsessed with those things. The demand for modesty only serves to draw attention to excessive sexuality. Gender differences are highlighted instead of human commonalities. Masculine and feminine energies are different, but every person embodies both to some degree, but many modern people are unable to understand or accept this. The divide between those types of energies, which was once closely aligned, is now a great chasm marked with signposts of suspicion, anger, and segregation. We’ve lost so much.

5 11 2008
caiter

unfortunately, i have nothing amazing to add to the comment section. i just wanted to say i enjoyed this post.

21 11 2008
awillowhawk

Thank you!!! May we stand together for truth!

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